Change and Moving On

I’ll be honest and say that I’ve rewrote this post a couple of times because I couldn’t find the right words.  You’ll have noticed that I’ve taken a pretty hefty break from my blog and YouTube channel over the past couple of weeks – very unlike me and the longest break I think I’ve taken since I started in 2012.  I never usually apologise for taking breaks and this hasn’t changed but owing the the nature of this break, I feel like I should offer a small explanation.
I’m just going to say it: break up’s are hard.  Break ups are especially hard when you live together and it essentially throws every aspect of your life into turmoil – personally, financially, your work life…  I haven’t wanted to do anything the few weeks other than curl up in my bed and watch an uber marathon of Gilmore Girls but alas life goes in.  I’m not going to pretend I’m OK and not utterly devastated – I’ve cried a lot and my moods go up and down.  I have so much respect for the girls that put on the brave face over and over.  It’s a pretence I’ve been doing my best to keep up but sometimes you just have to let it out.  Remember in Devil Wears Prada where they talk about when your personal life goes up in flames you’re due a promotion at work – that’s my life right now! I seemed to have excelled at work, managers across the business have heaped on the praise.  I guess it’s been nice to have something to focus and channel my energy into.  But if I’m honest I thought that the thing that would lift me was blogging which has turned out to be the last thing I’ve wanted to do.  Opening my laptop has resulted in me facing a blank screen with no desire to do anything – just another reminder to us that nobody has the perfect life and what we see on the internet is not the full story.
From previous experience I know to surround myself with friends, family and good food in hard times so that is exactly what I’ve been doing – living my life, meeting new people and spending time with those who have my best interests at heart.  My friends have really rallied – both off and online.  I’ve had so much support from my best blogging chums – I’m never alone which is the scariest thought after being in a relationship for nearly 4 years.  Although one day, that will simmer down and I will have to be alone – I’m not going to lie, it scares the bejesus out of me but I know I’ll be able to face it. It’ll be an exciting new adventure and that’s how I’m determined to look at it.  It may seem silly in the grand scheme of things but I’m excited to haul new homeware items and do a bit of redecorating. Living alone both scares and terrifies me a the same time but it’s a good thing.
So I will be posting sporadically for a while but I promise when I’m back properly I’ll be better than ever 🙂  Again thank you for all the lovely supportive comments I’ve received.  They mean more than you know.  As I said life goes on and I’m determined to make the best of it – with a bit of Beyonce and Taylor helping me get by when the sadness hits.